Posts Tagged ‘training’

July 8 Daily Quote

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
Henry Ford

 

Remember when you were a child and had been sent to your room to clean it after you and your friends had trashed it thoroughly? Remember how impossible the task seemed? Then your mother came and gave you some instructions.

She would say, first pick up all the dirty clothes. Now pick up the books on the floor.  Now put the toys in the toy box. She kept that up until you were able to do what you had considered impossible. It works the same now in adult life. The desk at the office, the seemingly overwhelming number of things that have to be done before bedtime, can sometimes make us feel like a child with a messy room again. When that happens, start listening to the voice of your inner mother.  Don’t stress.

Just take each task and break it into groups until you have managed to whittle down that pile of work.

May 27 Daily Verse

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

3 John 1:11

Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God.

 

Father, sometimes we slide into evil almost without knowing it. Sometimes we walk into it without even realizing that we are headed in that direction. As parents, we caution our children against certain things and places just as You have done for us. Keep us grounded in Your word and Your teachings so that we will be aware when we are moving in the wrong direction. Father, we know a little of how You love us because of how we love our children and guide them.  Since we know that, help us obey Your instructions as we wish our children would do with ours.

May 4 Daily Verse

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

Ephesians 6:4

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Lord, we love our children. There is so much today that would tempt them to do what is wrong or harmful. We want to train them properly. We want to teach them so that they can fully complete the tasks that You have placed for them. Give us wisdom, Lord. Each child needs a unique way of training that will reach them best. Show us the ways that are best for our children so that they may become men and women of God. If somehow, we fail they and are not walking with You, call them back, Lord. Where we as parents have failed, stand in the gap and bring them back. We love them, Lord. We ask that You love them as well.

March 9 Daily Verse

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Lord, in our dealings with others, especially our children, may we remember Your counsel to speak softly to them. May we speak in such a way as to teach and train in love. Our teens are quick to anger. Help us answer them calmly but with authority so that we can turn away their anger and guide them in the way You intended.

Hostile When Thwarted

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Parenthood has it drawbacks. I know this because I’ve been a parent for a lot of years. Now, I’m not saying the drawbacks are severe enough to make me want to quit parenting. I love my children. I love my family, my grandkids, the dogs and my life. But the drawbacks can cause me moments of stress. Particularly when they highlight for me what my flaws are. I like to think that certain things are self-evident. For instance, clothing – still on hangers – has probably not been worn and doesn’t belong in the dirty clothes hamper. If you spill a bowl of cereal on the floor, it shouldn’t be left there for me to clean up. If you’re staying up late to watch movies, you shouldn’t leave empty popcorn bowls, crumpled up chip bags, and half finished soda cans all over the family room. I am not your personal slave. Clean up your own mess! Put your clothes away! Don’t throw them on your bedroom floor! I’m starting to use a lot of punctuation marks. I’m not that far away from capital letters. My frustration level thinking of these things is rising. I learned years ago that I am a Type A personality which means I get hostile when thwarted. I mention this merely because I know that there are hundreds – maybe even thousands – of mothers who come home from work everyday to the same scenario I do. You walk in the door and hostility kicks in. Hostility is not good for either you or your children. You are going to give yourself high blood pressure and heart problems way too soon in life and your children are going to be hiding from the ’mommy monster’ which will definitely effect your relationship with them. So, is there a solution to this particular drawback? I think there is.

First, we need to recognize that children are people in training and we are the trainers. Training them with consequences for their behavior needs to occur in order to teach them but volcanic explosions of anger are overkill. There are a couple of ways I have learned to do this. First, try to find a little humor. For instance, I had a note posted on the laundry room door for a while that said ‘clothing found on hangers in the laundry will get their owners flogged with said hanger.’ Now, obviously, no one was actually going to be flogged but I was able to vent a little while reminding them that, if they took the clothes off the rack and decided not to wear them, they should put them back ON the rack and NOT the floor. Secondly, recognize that they are not doing these things as a personal attack on you. They are doing them because they are children and need to be trained. And, finally, try to recognize the actual importance of these misbehaviors. An easy way to help you do this while teaching your children better habits is to establish a system of ‘fines’. Simply forgetting to pick up after themselves is worth a quarter from their allowance. Spilling food on the floor and leaving it there is a little more serious. Someone might slip and fall. A $1.00 might be a good fine for that. Forgetting to shut and lock the front door when they head off for school is even more serious. A $5.00 fine is in order. The highest fine (maybe $10.00) should be given if serious injury could occur because of their sloppiness. An example might be dropping a butcher knife on the floor where the baby is crawling and leaving it there.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help drop your homecoming mood from ‘hostile’ to just ‘frustrated’. You can remember you love your children and they can learn that part of your love for them includes consequences. With perseverance (and luck) they will start improving their behavior and your homecoming will become more enjoyable.

Small Dogs

Monday, July 18th, 2011

Q: A couple months ago, I bought the cutest little dog. She is adorable. The breeder says she is a Chorkie (half yorkie, half Chihuahua). I love her. I can hardly wait to get home from work and hold her. She sleeps in my bed and shares my dinner with me. She’s the best roommate ever! She gives me wonderful companionship and never wants the remote. She has started biting though. If she gets angry with me for anything she actually nips at me. I’m not sure what that is about. I saw you had a yorkie. Do they nip like that?

A: I’m no vet or dog trainer but I do know that little dogs can get small dog syndrome. I’m not sure exactly what that is. It has something to do with being tiny and spoiled. Which may be your dog’s problem. I have several dogs so the other thing that comes to my mind is the alpha male attitude. Dogs historically ran in packs with one dog giving the orders. If you don’t establish yourself as the ‘alpha male’ – or the dog giving the orders – your dog will try to take that role. It sounds to me like your little one has decided that she is the boss in your home and is nipping at you when you step out of line. If I were you, I’d nip that behavior in the bud – no pun intended . I like to use the tube at the end of a paper towel roll instead of the traditional rolled up newspaper. I’m always afraid the newspaper will actually hurt the dogs but I know the paper towel tube won’t. I gently smack their little bottom when they try something like that just so they know I am in charge. I also use the spray bottle of water for discipline, usually when mine are barking. (When you have more than one dog, barking can be a problem if you don’t control it). So, basically, my dogs know I’m the boss or the ‘alpha male’ in the group. As soon as your little one accepts that you love her but you are the boss, I think your trouble with nipping will end.