Posts Tagged ‘time’

Spring Cleaning

Saturday, September 20th, 2014

All I wanted to do today was spring clean the kitchen. I didn’t want to spring clean the whole house. I knew that would never happen. I just wanted the kitchen to be nice and freshly cleaned. Did it happen? Of course not!

The lawyer had let us know yesterday that all background checks were in and Grandpa and I had to go down to sign the final legal papers on the boys. No problem. We could be home by 11 and still get everything done.


Courthouses do not have small children. Therefore, court houses stay on schedule. We were home by 11. Homes are where the scheduling problems begin. Children live there. Children who decide to sleep in for the babysitter (never for me) so are still lounging around in their pajamas, finishing breakfast. I’m still on a roll. I can do this.

An hour later the kids are dressed and playing and I am reminded the poodle needs a haircut and bath. I do this myself to save money and to cause frustration for myself just because I don’t have enough things to frustrate me. An hour and a half later, the dog is looking good. I wash one of the kitchen windows and the bench for our breakfast nook. The Little Guy screams for lunch. The Little Guy falls asleep in his high chair while everyone is eating. If I lay him in his crib, he will wake up in ten minutes and realize that he has been abandoned – God forbid!- and he will protest this injustice loudly. So I bow to the inevitable and lay down on my bed with him. He wakes up just enough to squirm closer to me. Happily cuddled up against me, he falls back to sleep. I decide I wouldn’t trade anything for this little naptime with the our special boy.

Two hours later, Grandpa wakes me to let me know he needs to run an errand so I get up to keep an eye on Nature Boy and Princess. Nature Boy is finally learning to leave his clothes on. Someday he will learn to stay out of the pool in the middle of March. Until then, he needs to be closely supervised when outdoors. And, of course, the Little Guy soon realizes he has been left alone and is sobbing on the bed. The three of them keep me moving until Grandpa returns. Yes, I’m ready to start again!

The Girl Scouts arrive with their cookies.  Who can turn down Girl Scout cookies? We have to take a break for those.  The Little Guy has to have his picture taken eating his very first Girl Scout cookie. It’s peanut butter and chocolate and is the best food he has every had. By the time he is done, he is chocolate from head to toe. More time consumed.



Nature Boy then insists on ‘dink peas tank you’. The refrigerator yields only white milk and precious little of that. I give him a cup. He patiently returns the cup to the refrigerator and again asks for ‘dink peas tank you’. I make grape kool- aid.  He takes a sip. Grape is not to his liking. In frustration, he goes to the fridge and pulls out a diet coke. ‘Dink peas tank you.’ Arrgh!!! Fine! Just take it and go outside!!!!


It’s time to make dinner. I AM NOT MAKING DINNER. I am going to spring clean the kitchen. I run to the store for milk and chocolate and through the drive thru for burgers and fries. At home, Princess meets me at the door. The dog got out. More time spent finding the dog! Grandpa, busy trying to find out how the dog got out, is otherwise distracted while the Little Guy spreads dog food and dog water all over the kitchen floor and Nature Boy covers himself in mud. By 9 o’clock the children are fed, bathed and in bed. The dog water has been wiped up from the kitchen floor and I figure the dogs will eat the food before morning.

I am not spring cleaning the kitchen. I am resting.

So why do I tell you this? Because this is the Advice From Mom column and I – as the reigning Mom – have some advice. If you have small children, don’t set your sights too high when it comes to housework. As a matter of fact, as long as the house isn’t toxic, consider yourself a success. Enjoy that special time when your little one cuddles up beside you. Enjoy the ‘firsts’ that come for your offspring. The kitchen will still be there tomorrow and the next day and the next day after that. It remains the same.


Your children change. Don’t miss it. When you’re old and retired, you can have a clean house. Unless, of course, you’re like Grandpa and I and start a family all over again.

July 2 Quote of the Day

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.
Franklin D. Roosevelt



I’m a night person. You’re a day person. Be who you are. Luck doesn’t depend on time. It depends on how you live. If you’re a bird, we wise enough to know that food is available early in the morning.  If you’re a worm, be wise enough to conceal yourself while going about your day.  Make your own luck.


Pets Can Help Us Determine if We Are Ready to Be a Parent

Friday, November 11th, 2011

1) Did you have to return the puppy to the shelter because you simply couldn’t get him to housebreak after 3 months of trying? You cried all day because you loved that little guy but your carpets we’re being destroyed. You’re not ready! There are not shelters for you to drop off your two-year-old when he refuses to potty train. Furthermore, he will refuse to learn to dress himself but undressing is another matter. He will happily remove his diaper when it is soiled (especially the worst kind of soiling) and will drop it wherever he chooses. If you have expressed your displeasure loudly enough, he may hide it when he removes it assuming you won’t notice that he is no longer wearing a diaper. Fishing a bowel-filled diaper from under the couch is not fun. It’s also not fun shampooing the underside of a couch.

2) Did you throw your cat out the door to fend for himself because he jumped on the counter and ate your dinner one too many times? You’re not ready! As soon as your child is old enough to shove a chair against the cupboards, he/she will put little fingers into anything edible they can find. They don’t outgrow this tendency. It only gets worse with age. After a while, even the top of the fridge isn’t safe. By the time your child has reached teen years, the entire dessert can disappear out the door before you even sit down for a meal.

3) Okay. The cat’s food pilfering isn’t enough to make you get rid of it. But that kitty litter box is! You’ve tried every kitty litter on the market and the smell still is too strong for you. You might be able to put the box in the laundry to make the daily smell tolerable but cleaning the thing still makes you gag. The cat has got to go! Sorry. You’re still not ready. No matter what the advertisements say, there is not a diaper pail made that can totally rid your home of the lovely aroma of diaper. The diaper pail, combined with some Febreze and some disinfectant can mask the odor but everyone knows why you have all those cleaning supplies smelling up the house. Furthermore, if you think a kitty litter box makes you gag to clean, just wait until you empty a diaper pail. But – you argue – the diaper stage will pass. It certainly will. Only to be followed by stinky socks and gym shorts.

4) You feel pets are too much trouble to keep. The dogs track in dirt every time they’ve been outside and the cats bring you gifts of small mice and birds. You’re not ready! Any kid worth his salt will be tracking in mud and dirt from your yard, your neighbors yard, the street, the park and the sandbox! Pets are nicer. They can’t bring home their friends to help with the tracking. Furthermore, every boy alive will be bringing in bugs, snakes, butterflies, worms, you name it, to keep as pets. All the little girls of the world will be ’saving’ every cat, dog, rabbit and furry creature they can find.

5) Having a pet is simply too time consuming. You are soooooooo NOT READY! You will only learn the true meaning of the phrase ‘time consuming’ when you have a child. If you think dropping off your child at the daycare on the way to work is only going to take a couple of extra minutes, THINK AGAIN. You will use up those couple of extra minutes just getting the little one bundled up and out the door. You’ll use up a couple more extra minutes getting baby into the car seat. When you arrive at daycare, there is the waiting your turn to hand him over to the caregiver who is talking to some other parent right now. Then there’s the screaming, yelling tantrums because he doesn’t feel like going today and he refuses to let go of you! With sighs of relief, you pull out of the daycare parking lot only to do a u-turn at the end of the block because the diaper bag is still sitting on the seat next to you. Children consume your time from the second they are conceived until the day you become too senile to remember who they are!

6) You don’t have pets because you can’t afford the vet bills and the pet food? Whatever you do, DON’T have a child! You are NOT ready. That one doesn’t even need discussed.

There are probably 50,000 other ways a pet can help you determine whether or not you’re ready to be a parent. If you know of any you think I should have mentioned, please feel free to let us know about them in our comment section.