Smile and Say Nice Things!

Smile a lot and say nice things! It might be a good way to make a friend out of that grouchy person in the office who can’t see any good in you. It might even turn an enemy into a friend. Recently our granddaughter was having some issues with another little one on her team. I don’t know the family but I’m guessing the little one is an only child. I’m guessing that because she acts a lot like our granddaughter who functions as an only child at our house. She’s a cute little girl with an attitude that says she’s entitle to love and affection from everyone just as any queen should be. Needless to say, two little girls with that attitude on the same team might tend to clash. I had tried conflict resolution suggestions with our sweetheart but it was just not a concept she could embrace. So we decided to work with her on making friends. She agreed to try. Her first try was to tell the little girl she liked her pony tail. She ran to the stands to inform us that it hadn’t worked. The girl still didn’t like her. We urged her to try again so her next compliment was on how nice the little girl’s shoes looked. Again she returned to the stand to inform us that this hadn’t worked either. I pointed out the usual, old-fashioned mother statement “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. This particular saying annoys her (mostly because she hears it so often) but she made another attempt. This time she complimented the little girl on the pretty t-shirt under her jersey. Failure! On her return to the stands, grandpa suggested complimenting her on her hair. I started to explain that she had tried that idea with the pony tail compliment but the little one was already on her way back to the team. She came speeding back to the stands to report, “I think it’s working! She smiled!”

I’m thinking it would work for adults as well. As females, most of us still carry a little bit of that “I am a princess and should be treated as such” attitude. So let’s use it to our advantage with the other females we deal with daily. That supervisor who nitpicks every little thing you do would certainly have a softening of her attitude if you thanked her for helping you improve your work performance. You may not feel thankful but fake it! If you feel your mother never stops criticizing you, send a few compliments her way. Maybe she’ll improve her attitude towards you once she feels more appreciated. And don’t give up after the first try. Behaviors that have been ingrained in people will take some time to change. Families are especially good at building up walls. Breaking them down may take time but it can be done. Working at building congenial relationships with those around us will lower stress levels which will improve our environments and may even have some health benefits as well. Start right now. Turn to the person next to you, smile and say something nice.


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