My wife can’t stop complaining no matter what I do.  She yells because the garage is a mess.  So I move stuff into the living room so I can organize the garage.  Now she’s yelling because there’s stuff in the living room and I’m watching tv.  Big deal!  I work fulltime.  I’m tired.    I’ll do it later.  She comes in here yelling at me so I told her to ___ off.  Now she’s probably off running up the credit cards.  I think I’m just going to sit here and get drunk.  Serves her right.

A:  Apparently, you feel that getting drunk will annoy your wife as much as her running up the credit cards annoys you.  It seems to me that – if the two of you continue on this path – you’ll be in bankruptcy court very soon.  Then you can argue that it’s her fault because she ran up the credit card bills and she can blame you for spending your entire paycheck on alcohol.  If you like that option, just keep on moving as you’re doing now.    If you’d like to have a happier ending, I suggest you learn how to communicate with one another.  Communication requires more than just the ability to use words.  Any two-year-old can do that.  Since you’re the one writing, I’m going to make some suggestions for you.  First, it’s important that you let your wife know that you see her point of view.  Second, you need to be able to calmly let her know where you are coming from.  And, finally you need to suggest a solution to the problem that will be agreeable to both of you.  (Another little hint:  When communicating with your wife, SHUT THE TELEVISION OFF.  There is nothing on that television that won’t show up as a rerun someday.  And there is nothing on tv as important as your marriage.)  So contact your wife and tell her something like this: “Honey,  I know you are upset about the mess in the living room.  I appreciate the fact that you want to give us a nice looking home.  Right now I am tired from working all day and need to relax for a little while.  I promise I will get this job done.  Will it work for you if I  spend ½ hour a day on the garage during the work week and three to four hours  a day on the week-end until the job is done? “   If this isn’t a compromise you like, then find one.   And be prepared for her to come up with her own compromise.  If she does, try to keep calm.  Just remember your three steps in communication and keep talking until you find the solution.