Hi,  Everytime I bring my son to the barber he screams.  The barber won’t cut his hair.  I’m doing it myself and it looks terrible.  Got any good ideas?

A:   You don’t give me a lot of information.   How old is your son?  If you’ve just started bringing him to the barber and he is between the ages of 18 months and three years, he could be having a problem with stranger anxiety.  Another reason he could be giving you trouble is a lack of contact with males.  If you are a single mom, he probably goes to daycare.  Most of his life is being spent around women.  Men with scissors could be scary.  Both of these problems can be solved by having him go to the barber at the same time his male cousins (or grandpa or uncles) go.  Have him watch them get their haircuts.  Be sure they have a really good time!  If you are married and it is a stranger anxiety issue, another option would be to have daddy take him to the barber.  Have him sit on daddy’s lap while daddy gets a haircut and then let him remain on daddy’s lap while he gets his haircut.

It’s always best to know why children are upset about things.  I asked my 3 year old grandson why he cried at the barber.  He said “’cause I don’t want to get my head chopped off”.   That was a surprise.  I hadn’t realized that was an issue for him.  When you’re only 3, reality is defined by cartoons, television and an active imagination.  This man he doesn’t know is putting an apron around his neck at just the right height for a head chopping experience.  So if your child is old enough to ask - ASK!  Work through his issues with him.   A few months of bad haircuts are a lot better for him then forcing him into a situation that is, for him, terrifying.