My daughter’s cat got run over by a car while she was at school.  I told her the cat ran away and we’d find her.  I was going to get a cat that looked just like it.  My boyfriend says I’m nuts.  What do you think?

A:  I can see several problems with the cat exchange.  The first, and most obvious, is that all animals – like people – have a personality.  It will be fairly obvious to your daughter that there is a difference if she is used to holding the cat and the cat you find decides to scratch her or vice versa.  Also, there is the trust issue between you and your daughter.  Should she discover the ruse, it will cause her to have difficulty trusting you in the future with important issues.  The final issue is an emotional one.  It is important that each child learn about death.  It is difficult to work through the loss of a loved one – even of a pet.  Ideally, that can be learned with the love and support of a parent.  You have the opportunity to help your child through this first difficult loss.  I suggest you let her know of the death of her cat.