For Easter dinner, our whole family got together at my mother’s house.  She is getting up in years and likes to have the family together for holidays.  While I was cleaning up, I dropped one of her ‘good’ china plates and broke it.  These so-called china plates are actually plates she bought from Kmart when my brothers and I were younger.  But they are her ‘good’ dishes and she pulls them out every holiday.  She’s all upset because she no longer has a service for twelve which she needs when we all get together.  Kmart no longer sells this particular set.  I can’t find any reference to them on the internet.  Do you have any suggestions on how to replace a random plate?

A:         My first suggestion is to just get her a different set of plates.  Since she isn’t asking for actual china plates, it can’t be too expensive to find her another set of ‘good’ dishes.  However, if she’s getting up in years, she may have a sentimental attachment to these dishes.  So there are several possible places to look for a replacement.  There is the ever-popular garage sale and flea market option.  Also, thrift stores are a good place to look for miscellaneous pieces to match your dishes.  Another possibility is craigslist.  If you haven’t heard of it, it is a nationwide internet list that allows free for-sale ads and wanted ads.  Just type in ‘craigslist’ in your search engine and the name of your town for your local ads.  You can take a picture of the other plates in your mom’s set and put in a wanted ad.  There is no cost and you can continuously update it until you find what you want.  You can also check their ads to see if anyone already has a set like this they are trying to sell.  I have used this site myself many times and find it to be very helpful.

(This email has been modified.  It was sent in the text message style which is a little difficult for us grandma’s to read.  I imagine it can be for others also.  I believe I got the gist of it right.  Also, please remember when emailing, this is a family site.  Profanity will be deleted.  If there is too much profanity, I may delete the entire email.  Mom)

Q:        My parents are being completely unreasonable.  They say I am too young to date a 16 year old.  I am 13 and everyone says I am mature for my age.  He and I were having a great time together until they found out.  I figure you’re a mom and they might listen to you if you tell them they are being unreasonable.  Can you send me an email for them?

A:            Actually, I think you are the one being unreasonable.  Dating at 13 is way too young in my opinion.  When you are just entering adolescence, your body is changing and hormones are causing you to have major mood swings.  You need to give yourself time to adjust to these changes before you start complicating things with emotional attachments to boys.  Also, it sounds to me like you knew your parents wouldn’t approve.  You said they ‘found out’.  Were you sneaking around behind their backs?  Another thing.  Sixteen is too old for a 13-year-old.  I suggest you and your parents sit down together and set up a list of rules for dating.  That would be the mature thing for you to do.  The more you are responsible and follow the rules they set down, the more they will give you space to make your own choices. 

I am so stoked!  I just moved into my very first apartment!  It is awesome!!!  But I want everything perfect, you know?  But one thing I don’t know.  My friends will really think I’m stupid if I ask them.  Which way do you put the toilet paper?  I can’t remember if it’s over the top or down the back.

A:  Back when I was a teen-ager I remember Dear Abby having a question like this.  My feelings on the subject are about the same now as they were then.  Who cares?!?!  It’s your house.  Do whatever you want.  There is nothing more wonderful than coming home from work to a house that is exactly like you want it.  So have it like you want it.  But in case it is really important to you to have my opinion, I’ll tell you what I prefer.  Now that I’m older, I can’t make it through the night without a bathroom trip.  So I prefer my toilet paper to go over the top and away from the wall.  That way I don’t have to fight the wall for possession of the toilet paper.   Trust me.  At 2 in the morning, when you’re half asleep, that wall can be a formidable opponent.  Not that I always get it over the top.  Other people in my house hang the paper, too.  But when I get a chance, that’s what I do.  Enjoy your new apartment.

I have a suggestion for the person who is trying to save money on groceries.  I don’t have time to clip coupons so I buy extras of things that are on sale.  If you do that, you won’t have to pay full price when you need something.

A:  That is a very good suggestion.  When I was preparing for the Y2K non-event, I began watching the sales and buying extras of items we used a lot.  With a teen-age son who played sports and worked out constantly, I wanted to be sure I had plenty for him in an emergency.  I was amazed at how quickly my food bill dropped just from this small adjustment.  So thanks for the suggestion!

My mother-in-law is coming to visit.  I have a very stressful job and really don’t feel up to company.  Especially her.  The last time she was here she re-arranged my cupboards.  She said they weren’t efficient!  I agree they are faster and easier to get to now but it took me almost all year to be able to find things.  My husband is thrilled she’s coming so no excuse I can think of will keep her away.  Do you have any ideas?

A:  I think the real reason you don’t want to see your mother-in-law is that she makes you feel like a child.  Telling you how to arrange your cupboards must seem just like your mother telling you how to clean your room.  You’re an adult now and interactions such as these can be frustrating.  The best way to keep your mother-in-law from mothering you is to keep her busy doing other things.  Does she like to shop?  Are there nearby local attractions such as aquariums, waterfront areas, specialized shopping?  Are there interesting places to take her to dinner (and keep her from doing your dishes!).  Get creative.  I’m sure there are dozens of things to keep her busy and out of your cupboards.

This is in response to the person who wants to start a garden in their apartment.  If she really wants to save money on gas, she should take the bus. 

A:  I agree that taking public transit to work would save money but that is not always an option for everyone.  Her question was not on how to save money on gas.  It was on how to save money on groceries.  Working with your hands is very relaxing for some people so should have a two-fold effect.  She will not only save money on gas but she has a stress reliever as well.