The song says “some say love is a river, a razor, a hunger” but I say the strongest love is the one that chooses to love even when that person has his moments of unloveableness (if Shakespeare can make up words, so can I!).

Avoiding a quarrel. Is it really worth the effort to chase down that pen you had on your desktop and berate the person who has it? Is it actually that important? Is it so important to complain about the co-worker who talks too much, or whose desk is a mess, or who just bugs you for whatever reason?

At home, do we really need to blow up because someone asked us where we left the remote for the tv. Do we have to shout ‘use your eyes and find it yourself!’? Parents of teens almost instinctively know that it is necessary to choose your fights. After all, if you didn’t, you would be fighting non-stop with your adolescent terror. So why can’t we take that stance in all things we do with other family members? You know what your family arguments are. Take a look at them. Is it really necessary to have that mini-war over forgetting to put the milk away?

And then if we could just roll that advice over into our governments and the nations of the world, no one would have to wait anxiously for the time when their sons and daughters returned home from the fighting overseas.

Avoiding a quarrel is honorable. After all, any stubborn fool can start a fight.

?

Let’s begin with you, ladies. You don’t necessarily need the man that every woman in town is trying to get. Particularly if he has cheerfully allowed himself to be caught by every woman in town. If he likes to play around now with every woman he meets, he might just be stupid enough to keep it up after marriage. Or, is he one of those guys that gets invited to every party? Can he drink all his buddies into the ground? Does he keep every party going all night long? That might be fun now but is being the designated driver every Friday night for 50 years really what you want. Actually, when I think about it, you probably won’t be able to be the designated driver for long. Someone will need to stay home with Junior when he’s teething. The laundry will have to be done, the house cleaned, the yard mowed. Someone will have to have a job to pay the taxi driver who has taken over your designated driver duties.

So find yourself a stable man. One who knows how to have fun but knows when fun interferes with responsibility. One who respects the women in his life enough to not take advantage of every woman he meets. If you find that kind of a man, you’ll know that when he comes to you, his love is real. And then, just for a bonus, if you can find a man who will speak up for those who can’t speak up for themselves and who has the heart to help others, then you’ve got yourself a real keeper.

Guys, I know most people agree that your brain is located a little lower than your head, maybe just south of your belt buckle, but lets assume for a minute that you can actually think on a more intellectual level. Are you really sure the totally stacked prom queen is the woman you want to spend your life with? She may actually be a winner. I’m just saying - is looks the only criteria you have for a wife? Good looks take time. And money. That hairdo she has took a great deal of both at a hairdresser. And that make-up she’s sporting wasn’t cheap either. The dress that shows off her body so perfectly took several days of shopping to find and she maxed out daddy’s credit card paying for it. So lets take a quick peak into the future. The wife looks great! She keeps that way because you have a really great job that pays for the liposuction after the baby’s birth and the personal trainer who keeps her in shape. Your job also needs to pay for the beauty parlor visits, the make-up and the wardrobe that keeps her up to date and stylish. There is also the nanny you pay who cares for your children while mommy is out doing all this shopping, etc. And, of course, someone has to keep the dishes done (not Mommy! It would ruin her nails) so the housekeeper comes in daily to see to that chore and others. But Mommy looks great! Of course, Mommy needs somewhere to go to show off all this glamour and she needs an escort to do it. That escort - we hope - is you so the nanny bills just got higher and the credit cards are smoking from use at all the events you now need to attend.

Let me suggest that a wife a little more grounded would be a better life companion. Someone with goals in life besides being the most beautiful woman on the block. Someone you can present with pride to your friends as, not only one who cares for herself, but one whose career - whether if be lawyer, doctor, nurse, business consultant or homemaker - is of outstanding quality. One who is capable of looking to the future and preparing her family for it. Now there is a woman who can be a companion, a friend, a lover, throughout your life when her beauty has faded and your waistline has expanded.

Marriage is not all about the fireworks and lovemaking that begin your life together. Marriage is about the ‘happily ever after’s. And in order to attain those ‘happily ever after’s you need a couple who are grounded in reality even while they are floating in the clouds. So in this time of weddings and honeymoon preparations, let’s listen to the concerns of our parents. Are the questions they are presenting to you ones that are dangers signs for the things to come? Is so, listen! Be sure you’ve looked at the future with this spouse you have chosen. Does the good outweigh the bad? If it does, congratulations! Have a wonderful life. If it doesn’t, you might want to rethink your commitment before it becomes a lifetime struggle.

?

A: New things are always terrifying to little ones, especially after dark. What looks really nice to an adult, in the mind of a toddler could have any number of monsters hidden in it. I personally don’t object to young children sleeping with their parents. I think it provides security and increases the bonding between parents and their children. However, should a child reach school age without gaining the independence to sleep in his/her own room, problems may surface.  Your little one is only 3 so you have plenty of time to work with her. Take a gradual approach with her. Hopefully she has a bedtime considerably earlier than yours. Tell her she needs to sleep in her own new pretty bed until you come to bed. She has her bed and you have yours. You will gladly share but she must wait for you to come. She may desperately try to stay awake for a few nights until you come to bed but eventually, exhaustion will get her and she will start falling asleep in her own bed. Let her know the night light is on and your door is unlocked if she needs to come in. Once she has slept in her own bed a few nights, she’ll be fairly sure no monsters got in with the new bed. Then it’s just a matter of making new habits and helping her gain independence. Gradually let her know that tonight you want to sleep alone. Then week-nights you want to sleep alone. Until you’ve reached a point where sleeping with Mom is a special occasion for popcorn and movies and late nights on the sleeping bag in Mom’s room.

A: You don’t mention why losing your voice is the only way you can get out of going to this event. Deliberately trying to lose your voice is really hard to do. Screaming into a pillow will take quite some time and can damage your vocal cords. As for how long the effects will last - I can’t say. I suppose it depends on how much damage you’ve managed to inflict on yourself. Are there alternatives to hurting yourself? What is it about this event that makes you so determined to avoid it? Apparently your voice is required at this event so I’m guessing you either have to sing or speak and you are experiencing some major stage fright. The fear of making a major fool of yourself is everyone’s biggest nightmare. But I can assure you from personal experience that - once you have the microphone in your hand and the first few words come out - that you will relax and gain the confidence to finish the presentation. Be as prepared as you can ahead of time. Practice your speech or song until you can do it in your sleep. If you’ve done that, then your brain knows the words and they will automatically come out when required. Why don’t you go ahead and attend the event? I bet you’ll be glad you did.

A: I’m no vet or dog trainer but I do know that little dogs can get small dog syndrome. I’m not sure exactly what that is. It has something to do with being tiny and spoiled. Which may be your dog’s problem. I have several dogs so the other thing that comes to my mind is the alpha male attitude. Dogs historically ran in packs with one dog giving the orders. If you don’t establish yourself as the ‘alpha male’ - or the dog giving the orders - your dog will try to take that role. It sounds to me like your little one has decided that she is the boss in your home and is nipping at you when you step out of line. If I were you, I’d nip that behavior in the bud - no pun intended . I like to use the tube at the end of a paper towel roll instead of the traditional rolled up newspaper. I’m always afraid the newspaper will actually hurt the dogs but I know the paper towel tube won’t. I gently smack their little bottom when they try something like that just so they know I am in charge. I also use the spray bottle of water for discipline, usually when mine are barking. (When you have more than one dog, barking can be a problem if you don’t control it). So, basically, my dogs know I’m the boss or the ‘alpha male’ in the group. As soon as your little one accepts that you love her but you are the boss, I think your trouble with nipping will end.